The Bruise We Give Ourselves With ‘Compromise’.
(for the ones who inflict wound upon their own heart)

Why do we make compromises with ourselves and our life??  Are we really happy about it when we make it?? If affirmative, then all our pursuit to achieve happiness seems to be in vain and pretentious because technically a compromise with oneself is just another word for settling down for something less and not wished for. Personally I hate to make any and even if I convince myself to agree upon one, later I just wonder why I pushed myself into it. Apparently I care for other’s happiness more than mine. Does this happen with everyone? I turned to my friends to help me out with their opinion. Some made compromises so that they could have a better future. Their present was not in good shape and they struck a compromise with their life believing that their future will be fine because of these compromises. There were few who chose to compromise because they felt that the situations were too strong to stand up for what they wanted. They had to compromise because they had no other option left. What was curious is that whereas the Martians struck the C-factor keeping the practical real-life considerations in mind, the Venusians were emotionally occupied while they did so. Regardless of the gender, is it really necessary to make compromises to move on in life??

If you have realized it, however appropriate it may seem in the present and have hopes for the future, it is never an easy task to make a compromise with yourself and your life. You have to lure yourself into believing that it’s the best you can offer to make yourself positive about the future and the repercussions will be something to look forward to. But the flip-side: Who can guarantee for a happy future? It is not about losing hopes for future or being a pessimist but a simple fact we turn a blind-eye to while striking ourselves with a compromise. The truth: The future is as unpredictable as the weather these days. Both can crack up when you think nothing can go wrong. And then we think of all the compromises we made to reach there. That is painful.

When there is no choice and we make compromises, a situation where we are left hapless by the fate. There are two kinds of people involved in this situation. The ones who are weak and pessimists and choose to accept the defeat without even trying to fight back and settle with a compromise. The other half who are vehement warriors but get defeated by the mightier forces, like fate, make ‘adjustments’ but never compromise with what they want.

Love. Another reason to deal a compromise. Everyone on this earth, love or like someone so much that we overlook what makes us happy or what is appropriate for us?? What is the penalty of disdaining your wishes and true desires to keep your love alive? How far is it okay to ‘compromise’ with and often leave ourselves miserable in the end? This is the most painful compromise one makes. I am not being judgmental here but I have reasons. This kind of compromise is on the cost of your present and future. You make it for the sake of somebody else and the stake might involve you being left hurt in the end. I think true love never demands compromise but brings out adjustments spontaneously. You adjust without compromising on what you want and both the ends meet smoothly. By adjustment we mean moving 3 or 4 steps instead of 5, unlike a compromise where we decide not to move a single step because our love unfairly demands a stand-still.

So here is a sum up. Life is never complicated from the beginning. The problem begins with our choices and our inability to convert them into the right decisions. The compromises we make to pacify the situations, everything piles up to a great baggage which we see people lugging around.  Love and appreciate yourself because no one can do it better than you yourself. Be a warrior and learn to struggle for what you want and you can justify. You may want to adjust but never compromise with your life and what you wish for. Granted or not, it will be decided not by you but the Fate.  You won’t realize the toll you take on yourself until you become conscious of what you have been missing in the ‘real’ you or maybe lose what u wanted while making the compromise-deal. Making adjustments might be a little more difficult but then the incentives are better, the greatest would be the having everybody around you happy without disregarding anybody’s choices.

-anouk

Is Love a Game??
(to the players.. and alike)

 To start with let me explain how I stumbled upon this question. I was attracted to a boy. Ignoring everybody's advice I chose to tell him rather than playing the recommended hide n seek game. There!! I made my MOVE. But I kept waiting for his that could top mine and after which I planned to rake my brain and find a better way to let him know what I felt and wait for his move again and so on. And during this entire period I realized, why am I using my brain so much?? Am I considering all this a game?? Is Love really a game?? If yes.. What part of it makes it a game?? If no.. Then why does Google shows so many results on ‘Love is a Game’??

When you think about love, you enjoy the liberty to compare it with almost everything on this earth, or universe in that case. Poets and authors have been very creative and exploited this freedom to the fullest to bring out the most unimaginable comparison-parameter into picture. Like garden, kites, birds, toothpaste etc etc.. But personally the most interesting and intriguing comparison made is by ‘a game’, because when we talk about games we are talking about ground-rules, cheating, deceiving, bluffing, competition, passion and game-plan. Though I love playing sports and games but considering love as a game needed a well-studied analysis and open minded thinking because I dint want to be judgmental and lose my insight into something worthwhile.

If we observe life, everything is similar to a game. At the end of the day we assess our accomplishments and failures to mark it as a good or bad day. Good day, we feel like winners. A bad day and we feel like losers. We set the rules and buck ourselves to continue playing. But this is entirely a one sided affair. What if we get a partner or already have one?? Should we take another separate game-plan for this situation?? Well.. I would find it rather exhausting. “They say love is just another game”.. To make myself more apprised about the subject, I asked some of my wiser bunch of friends and I was thrilled at the difference of opinions I found!

“Love is a game in which one always cheat!” –Honore de Balzac. When I look around and assess the crowd, yes that’s quite relevant to my generation. You will always find somebody messing up with the fundamental rules, playing stealthy moves, too scared to ‘lose’ their heart, more interested in ‘winning’ hearts of ‘many’. One of my dearest and most lovely friend in her 50s was kind of shocked at the question. In her opinion love is a feeling to be experienced instead of being emulated to anything, a ‘game’ being the last one. The entire concept has been twisted by the people now where human- heart and emotions have just become something to play with. Another valid point made by a friend who is in a long distance relation, love can never be a game because then you start considering your partner as an opponent and you stop being yourself, start being calculating. Ultimately the essential essence of this feeling is lost. And what if one cheats?? Then it’s a game for that person but definitely not for the other. Another cynical who had a severe heartbreak (like me) said love is a game because ‘boys’ are good players and they love playing football, volleyball and even with a girl’s heart. But then boys also have heartbreaks and this is what my buddy said who is going through one. He said it’s a game because it has two halves, first half where everybody is excited till it becomes boring. The second half gets the result on who will win and who will lose and eventually the game ends. On a lighter note, here is a rather weird view of what one of the younger generation said, because love is their hobby, some people ‘love’ every second person they come across and for other people it’s a good time pass and since we take up a game for time pass or hobby, love is a game!! Hence proved! A rather interesting stranger-friend of mine made a vehement stand, love can never be a game because it’s not about winning or losing but making sacrifices and adjustments which follow no reasons and no rules.

The essence of love maybe the same but definitely the meaning has changed over years. Welcome to 21^st century where life is so fast that sometimes you may be thrown out of the league if you cannot catch up with this pace. Where human emotions have taken a back seat and people have covered their priority-list with everything that’s materialistic. Where people find it very boring and waste of time to discover themselves but search for comfort in crowds and places where they can’t even listen their voice. The trust-quotient is biting the dust because everyone is getting stabbed by somebody really close. Where True Love is a fairytale and what exists is ‘The Game of Love’. One of the most impressionable parts of human experience is getting into a relationship. Everyone is either looking for love or trying to find a way to sustain and feed the love that they already have. And maybe in this process they make it a game. What they might have actually thought of was a way to make their love life interesting but ended up in plan where emotions and actions got manipulated to keep the flame burning. A healthy alternative would have been a competition where you just try to love your partner more than him\her. Things wouldn’t fall apart if you keep a check on pretending yourself to be something you are not and lay-off those shoddy mind games. When you ask somebody with a wounded heart, you will realize that love was a dangerous game, where the winner got away with a great-time and smile and the loser is left with a heartache and tears, who end up saying-

Why do I wish I never played,

Oh! What a mess we had

And now the final frame,

Love is a losing game.. –Amy Winehouse.

Oh! Here is what the boy to whom I was attracted said- It is not a game but if you think so maybe because you either win somebody’s heart or lose yours to someone. So it involves winning and losing and yes! Somebody has to end up being a loser.

Maybe love was never a game before but we made it into one now as a part of the survival-tactics, to save ourselves from the pain of being a failure or as a part of fun where you derive the pleasure by playing with somebody’s heart. Whatever the case maybe, it was never planned to be this way or was it?? Who knows..

-anouk

The Truth Unspoken by a Broken-Heart..
(dedicated to all the heart-breakers in the universe..)

I cry not because you left me but because,
You think we can never be together..

I cry not because I miss you but because,
I miss the person you were..

I cry not because my dreams are shattered but because,
the pieces of those broken dreams pierce my heart and it hurts..

I cry not because I am alone but because,
now nobody is there to share my loneliness..

I cry not because you are smiling but because,
I couldn't give you the smiles I always wanted to give..

I cry not because I wont be able to see or hear you but because,
your face and voice keeps coming back to my mind..

I cry not because you don't care for me now but because,
Nobody else cares for me like you did..

I cry not because you don't receive my calls anymore but because,
I miss the kisses and love you used to shower over phone..

I cry not because you don't love me now but because,
I can never love anybody like I loved you..

Still I smile with my misty-eyes, not because the tragic tale ended but..
Because it made you happy..

-charu

The Siren Lake..
(that calls me every time I see it..)

I could see it from any of the large windows present on the passage between every two floors while passing by the flight of stairs in my 6-storeyed hostel. Whenever I see this lake I only wish to reach there by any means. Its hardly 40-50 steps from the backyard of my hostel, through a small gate which is always locked and there is no other way that i know of yet. I love standing by this giant window and gazing at the lovely lake for hours and hours but sadly I am always on run. Just looking at it makes me happy.. blissful beyond any measures. Its beautiful and much more than that. There are so many things that add to its charm, the birds that swim in it (which I thought were ducks until yesterday but they are not!), the patches of lotus leaves, the weeds that grow profusely, the swirls and the tiny waves that form on its surface, men fishing on their boats, the mesmerizing hill view, the greenery, a large stretch of green field (where I can run uninhibited till I am out of breath) and the muddy path that runs along the confines of the lake. At night, the lights at the other end of the lake appears to be like devil-eyes, watching over the lake. Its serenity, both during the day and night, drifts you to a dream world. Its aloofness has perhaps made it more enticing. How much I wish I could go there, The Lake that lies off the beaten track..

Maybe thats why I find the dreams that I see with my conscious and free mind to be so alluring. They give me a picture of a shangri la mysteriously beautiful and remotely out of reach. The things I crave for most, I can see them just in those dreams. Maybe one day, when I'll reach that lake, I'll start believing these dreams can also come true..

Love, Life and Luck..

(for those who find themselves caught in this triangle)

There are three things, that I would always like my life to be associated with, all gifts of nature and infinitely beautiful.. Flowers, Stars and Breeze. Unwittingly, I found a relation between this beautiful trio with the 3 "L's". This is purely my opinion and I find it amazing..

Flower Power.. Flowers, I regard, quintessence of life. I remember a poem that I read in school which compared an oak tree and a lily flower with life. The essence was that, it doesn't matter how long your life is, but how well, how fruitful, how useful your life is, not only for yourself but also for the people around. A flower, though ephemeral, fills every heart with joy and happiness. It spreads fragrance, even to the hands that crush it. When a flower blooms, bees come uninvited. When life blooms, your wishes come true. By blooming, it means when there is a perfect balance between the seen and the unseen. Our eyes become adept not only in seeing what others see but also the beauty beyond a normal vision, that remains hidden for the ones who are actually looking for it. How does it feel when a flower softly and delicately brushes your senses? A feeling very close to being alive, isn't it??

Stars of Luck.. Stars, paradigm of luck. Against the dark sky at night, the only thing that makes a difference is the presence of the stars and the moon. Moon, may not be present for half of the time but Stars are always there for you. They die to make your wishes come true. When life seems to be surrounded by the dark gloomy clouds and sorrow creeps in, there are millions of stars who are ready to shoot against them, only the thing is about the right time.. but ultimately they will and they have to..


Breeze of love.. Imagine walking on a road on a lonely night, sky filled with stars and maybe flowers along the road. A soft cool breeze blows and it enlivens all your senses. You might be enjoying the odyssey, but the breeze then suddenly makes you realise your loneliness and how much your heart gets filled with an overwhelming emotion of love. Its love in the air what I feel the breeze to be is.. As if your love just kissed you to make its presence felt..

I firmly believe, for every soul on earth, the divine trio exists without an exception. Its only about the realisation and the right moment. I wish your existence to be blessed with the magic of flowers , stars and the breeze.. :)

-charu

Hello..... :)

Konichiwa :)
2 and half years.. this is how much it took me to regain my lost literary senses.. and still I m not sure whether I m ok and fit enough to write anything that have imprints of my style and fits my standard I was at 2 and half years back.. let me see, what the comments have to say.. see you soon with my creation..
Sayonara :)

The Burning Rose.

An overlooked bud once, a Rose in the wild,
Dreamt of cooler summers & winters that were mild.
Plucked away one day to adorn a corner,
The Rose thought now its woe was over.
Placed in a beautiful vase, it saw moments ticking by,
But where was the weather, it always wanted to enjoy?
Everyone said the Rose was a beauty among the few
But it was waiting for its dream to come true.
The dream was the reason for the Rose to be alive,
And there was grief in its heart while people said it smiled.
Time flew away & so did its vigour
Soon it was going to lose its essence forever.
Hope still dwelled in its eyes,
Maybe there will be a better life next time....

Finally, the corner was empty,
And the Rose all withered and dried,
Now burnt in the vicious fire.....
....Of shattered dreams and broken desires.....

-charu